You might be a Michigander!
This collection of "Michigan daffy-nitions" comes from various sources, and was gathered primarily from the usenet group alt.great-lakes. To add your favorite "You might be a Michigander..." fill out the form below!
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding... If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake... If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)... If snow tires come standard on all your cars... If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry... If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week... If you can identify an Ohio accent... If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town... If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike... If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder... If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up... If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is... If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..." If "Down South" to you means Toledo... If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was... If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball... If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon... If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers"... If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little
Caesar's and Hungry Howie's... If a Big Mac is something you can drive across... If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island... If you got a passport to go to Ohio... If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones... If your kid's baseball or softball games have been ever been snowed
out.. If the trees in your backyard have spigots... If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists... If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"... If you know what a pastie is... If you drive 80 mph on the highway and pass on the right... If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus... If you have a favorite hockey team... If you think there are only TWO seasons, Hockey Season and Off-Season... If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's... If you know how to play Euchre... If You classify your friends & relatives as "yoopers," "trolls," "Canadians," or "not from 'round here," (also classified as "Green Bay Fans," "Detroit Fans," "Toronto Fans," and "not from 'round here")... If You know at least 2 yooper jokes (like the one about the 2 brothers from Ipsheming who run red lights)... If Fudge and Bicycles remind you of your honeymoon... If You can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their locations around your left and right hands... If You don't cross picket lines... If You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday... If You know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities... If You've been to Hell and to Paradise & back again... If You had Tornado Drills in elementary school... If You know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"... If You can actually pronounce Ypsilanti... If your idea of reaching Climax is driving just past Kalamazoo... If the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do... If nothing weighs more than you do... If you consider a rusty pickup a "turn-on"... If you've ever gone "trolling for taillights"... If you laugh hysterically at the "suckers" during movies of the week about hurricanes... If you can travel through Detroit and not get mugged... If your idea of creative landscaping is putting an extra pair of pink flamingos next to your blue spruce... If you think there should be a "Fudgies go home" bumper sticker on every car north of Clare... If a Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer... You eat muskrat on Fridays during Lent because it's "seafood"... If you go "Up North" for every possible holiday... If you go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts... If you eat potato burgers in Elmira... If you sing along with the YES MICHIGAN commercials... When you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part of Canada'... If your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July... If formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap... If your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Cedar Point..." If you have to go to Florida to get a tan in August... If you define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend... If your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost... If you went to school with more than one NBA basketball player... If you know where the city of Ocqueoc is AND can pronounce it... If you have more fishing poles than teeth... If you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend... If your two best friends are Eino and Toivo... If you know that there are two ways to spell Mackinaw/Mackinac...and know when to use them... If you know that Ontonogan isn't a geometry term... If you look forward to your retirement "Up North" rather than Florida or Arizona... If you know where the Cherry Capital of the World is... If you get wet going too far left or right... If three out of four of your friends work for "The Big Three"... If you know what "The Big Three" means... If you know WHY Paradise is colder than Hell... If you know that Saline isn't just a term for contact solution... If your town has a blizzard AND a tornado in the same week... If you want Toledo BACK... If you know the dollar value of a grocery bag filled with empty pop cans... If November 15 is a paid holiday from work... If "thumb" is a geographical rather than an anatomical term... If you expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale... If your fishing shanty is better than your house... If you have a bumper sticker that says "If they call it tourist season, what's the bag limit?"... If you drive six miles and wonder where the lake is... If you were the one who turned out the lights when you moved south... If your wife's Lady Remington is a 30.30
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